I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize