Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
this hospital has no fireball
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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