Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
