Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
