I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
