I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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