Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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