I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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