I can't watch pbs sober anymore
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
