She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
