i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
