Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
