Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
