Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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