I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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