So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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