I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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