well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize