it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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