are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
