You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize