There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
