Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize