you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
