I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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