escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
