I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
