There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
