at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
