you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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