woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
