Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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