i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
