Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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