'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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