He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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