I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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