Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i may or may not be watching the land before time
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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