I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
