their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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