She is in my trunk
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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