Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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