i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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