I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
