Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
