we have officially lost it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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