Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
