i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
