she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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