so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
