I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
