Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
