Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize