what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
3pm strippers are depressing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
