he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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