i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize