You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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