...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize