I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Rumble strips road head = magical
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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