its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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