I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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