Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
