I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
