they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
