im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
