you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
