so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
