life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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