Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
