32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
