I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
