sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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