So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
