Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
