I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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