that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
