By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're breaking my sexual little heart
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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