Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
