it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
