you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
