is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I only lived at night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
