So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
