you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize