He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
