Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
