sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
