Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize