Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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