so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
