He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im holly from the hills drunk
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
